I don't want to DO anything. I want to BE peace. I am peace.

I can't say... when does a tree do the most growing up? Isn't it growing leaves and shedding it all the time. Is the time when it grows from the seed to the tree the only time it grows....

Either I am still a very young seed (at heart) or a tree that will always grow LOL

I can think of occasions when I had to grow through pain.... but I can also think of times when I grew through joy... I don't want to put any one above the other. I am eager to learn all the time, and for that reason, I suppose I take any opportunity for learning and growing that comes my way.

Probably becoming a mother has been my most rewarding growth opportunity. Although I ended up a single mother when I had no intend to do so whatsoever and that alone was a huge growing opportunity although sometimes a painful one. Even when I was still married to the father of my children, I was already a single mum LOL.

I do not like to look back on growth. I am looking forward to growing more. But I don't want to grow up.... I want to grow deep, up, out and in....

A lot of us pretend to be grown ups but the reason is we don't really know what to be adult is. We believe it is being responsible and serious when it could not be further from the truth. These are ancient myths that don't serve us anymore. Even being responsible is greatly misunderstood: how many people take responsibility for their own emotions instead of making others carry the burden of them? How many people take responsibility for their suffering and make sure they don't sit in their own suffering juices instead of just going through the pain and beyond it? How many people show their children or other children they are in contact with how honesty is the only way? And this starts with being honest about how you feel about things?

We just live in a world where children can be so incredibly mature and are trained by people who pretend to be adults but who act totally irresponsibly and childhishly...

And what about being serious? This is all a big joke. When I work I don't want to be serious. In fact, sometimes it's when I laugh that I do the best work. Being committed and being serious are often confused.... I want a committed life, not a serious one. I want to dance, and sing, and paint and hum without feeling I have to be the best at it to have the right to enjoy it....

Isn't this the legacy that we should give children of this new world? Grow in joy, grow in trust, grow in honesty... grow in vulnerability (which is actually a strength and not the other way round), grow in tenderness (not in toughness)... and however much you grow, don't ever forget to reach out for the sky and for your highest dreams.

Namaste

smiles and kind words... but I would probably want to give them out freely to start with... because it's one thing I love to do...

Entrusting everything I have, my life, my soul, my children, my relationship, my friendships, my belongings and my work to God. But is it really a risk? I feel suspended in love.

Namaste

Interestingly enough I have always hated running, even to catch a train or a bus. I would almost prefer missing it than running for it. And in a way, I think this epitomises my life: I don't like to be rushed.

Recently, in an effort to try to get more money in (I am self employed) I pushed for things to happen in my practice and I ended up "running" through my days. And I didn't like it one bit. Not for me anymore. As a result, I lacked the time for me to meditate, to contemplate... to let spirit inspire me. So now I know better: I let go and let God.

Sometimes I smile when I hear about the school run: this time of day when all parents jump in their cars to take their children to school or pick them from school. And for most parents, that's what it feels like: a massive rat race. Yuk! I am not saying I don't get sucked into it myself occasionally but I Iike to approach it with a relaxed attitude, as much as I can.

Life shouldn't be a race. For God's sake, we are supposed to enjoy every single moment and it seems we rush through things and forget where the important things are. I do. I am not saying I don't. But how little judgement we have. The art of living is about the art of slowing down. And for this, children and wise people (which is the only name I like to give to elders) are our best teachers.

Voila! Have a good slow day today....

None. I take them all as they come: the beautiful and the ugly.

At this point though, there is no beauty or ugliness, these are two sides, two opposites that could fight each other off until the end of time. I just am a perpetual learning heart. When I see some aspect of my expression that I don't particularly like, I look at it with a loving heart and ask it to show me: where do you come from? what message do you have for me and from me? You can love even what you don't like and so the practice shows you what needs healing. I have done so much healing on myself that I don't believe there is major bits that are lurking to crop up from my unconscious... however, I know, as a healer, that the healing process is not a point in time but a life time journey because life is movement and we need to heal ourselves as we live.

I am at peace with everything I am and everything I have done. I live in the now and my now self is so peaceful... joyful... present. I don't even deny or reject my family of origin anymore. I love them despite all the hurt and the horrible things that happen because I know that they didn't know any better and that I come from a family tree that was indeed very very sick. But the roots were strong enough that I have survived the abuse, the neglect, the violence... and I have even managed to send love and healing to the entire tree. And I have been told that my ancestors have thanked me from the other side for doing this. It was much needed. I did it for me and for my children. And I do it for others who wish to clean up the act of their emotional heritage.... it is so liberating.

Love the imperfection in you: it is the reason why you are alive. If you were perfect, you wouldn't be on this planet. If you were perfect, you wouldn't grow... and what a pity it would be.

Celebrate your difference, your imperfections, your uniqueness... with the secret knowledge that there is something in you, deep within, that is perfect at all times, and that perfection is your soul. That part of you that resists the hate, resists, the violence, the judgement, the distance... and that wants to connect, to grow, to improve, to learn... and that is just waiting to SHINE.

Who said a perfect world would not have shadows?

I used to play scrabble with my grand mother and I lived for the day that I would know enough to beat her. This was one of my raison d'etre. There was nothing nasty in my yearning, just an incredible force of wanting to be big, to be grown up. And the minute I was, I flew the nest and started a new life.

My birth name is Agnes, which in my native language sounds like "Anne-yes" and I like the sound of it. It comes from Agnus Dei, the sacrificial lamb. For this reason, I disliked it for a long time. And in a way, as my mother used me as a scape goat and a mirror for her neurosis, my name had a poignant truth to it that made it sometimes even unbearable. But there is another aspect to it: the innocence and purity and I believe that it is well suited to me - I hope you will bear with me and not label me as arrogant too soon. I have managed to find my own innocence and purity despite having been "dirtied" by the people who raised me and by many other people after them. Why is it that innocence attracts so much violence from abusers?

But then I started working and interacting with the English speaking world and my name became Ag-nes. And something funny happened: I had a secretary, back then, who kept on mispelling my name into "Anges" and even started calling me like this because of all the corporate lawyers that she worked for, she felt I was the most loving and kind to her (why shouldn't I be, just because she was a secretary? well I guess the question is quite relevant when you work in a law firm). And from there my nick name stuck: Anges

Now Anges, in French, means Angels. And although I felt quite self conscious about it to start with, it seemed to stick. And in a funny sort of way, when I started becoming aware of my mediumship abilities and how much I channel angel guidance, my name took another funny twist or dimension.

I guess I wanted to share all this with you today because many of you change my name from Anges to Agnes and I wanted to say that it's fine. It's just a scrabble trick... all the letters are the same, although i do prefer Anges because somehow it acknowledges my world, my connection and my mission better.

So Anges or Agnes, I am glad you are my friends.

Blessings from the other side

Anges-Agnes

I want to be totally me :-) from today... and I am... that I am... :-)

God, but I have already. Surrender to life. Surrender to the bigger wisdom that knows better than I do, and that we all humans do, what is needed for us.

And interestingly enough, the morning I read in a recently acquired book that this is THE prerequisite for ascension... Wow. This stuff is powerful. So simple, yet so difficult for most of us. Surrendering enables life to take its course and to free us of the struggle to control what is going on in our lives - a struggle which is bound to failure because we are not in control. Not the way we think we are, anyway.

So surrender to the bigger picture... to our destinies by accepting that the now is the only perfect time to be.

 Namaste

I choose day after day after day not to get upset by things.... I don't always succeed to implement this truth completely but that's my goal.

I choose the path of least resistance... but this doesn't mean that I sit back and let things happen despite me. It just means that I accept that everything is perfect in my world as it is... for now. And this leads to the realisation that if there is something I don't like in my life, instead of resisting it, I accept that it is a lesson and learn from it so that it can then exit my life...

Lessons.... always lessons... so everything participates to my growth. Thank you