We are exactly where we are supposed to be. So in the now, we are here.

In looking into the future and some distant heaven that is out of reach, we fail to see that we are the creators and that it is in the now that we can all bring it. Happiness blossoms inside, regardless of circumstances. I have heard stories of people of my parents generation (or grand parents) who were happy during the war. They sang and danced and enjoyed life probably more than we did up to now because they new that it is only today that you can grab and enjoy. They could not afford to wait until the war was over to be happy: they would have wasted their youth. How much of our life do we waste by asking if we are there yet? Could Donkey have watched the scenery whilst Shrek and Fiona's carriage rolled up and down those wonderful and breath taking places? 

I recently did a meditation that was very painful but very profound: imagine that today is the last day of your life. You only have twenty four hours to live and then that's it. Prepare to depart from your own identity. Say your farewells... what is it that you want to do during those twenty four hours. I had tears streaming down my eyes because I didn't want to leave my children behind. I wasn't ready so I wanted to spend all day with them and my partner. I went home and told them how much I loved them and bought a bunch of white roses for Daniel.

The more you do this meditation, the more you will live today as if this was the last day of your life. This in turn will enable to live more fully and enjoy life to a point you probably would never had done before. Isn't that a wonderful practice instead of waiting to be diagnosed with a terminal illness and having to do this with pangs of guilt and regret....

I know what I want to chose. I want to be here now. There now. Now now...

All my  needs are met perfectly now although I sometimes fail to see it. This is because I, and most people, don't really know what I need. We think we need something and then it turns out it was a blessing we didn't get it.

I have known this to be true for years but was still resisting it. In the recent weeks I have been feeling more and more the perfection of this world and of my world as it is. I do not say "I need", I just say "please God and the angels who know so much better than I do what I need, bring in the next experience and have all my needs met. Thank you". I leave enough space in my life and my day that God and the angels can bring in what is needed...

This has brought incredible bliss and peace in my heart. I am so grateful for this.

Namaste

PS I hope you enjoy my painting too

I can't choose... this question reminds me a little of the question "who is your best friend?" "who's the best mummy in the world?"...  what is your favourite colour? Why do I have to choose?

There has been thousands of beautiful little things in my life this week... and I think I have enjoyed any single one of them. I say I think I have because I have a tendency to be floating in another world so I can miss a lot too... I can be so caught up in my own world.

To be a bit more compliant with the question (I can't always rebel), I will say that the most beautiful liltle thing I have seen this week is my three children. I have taken the time to be with them and put aside duties, musts... and doing to take the time to be with them. What a blessing. What blessings in return.

And to be even more precise: the most beautiful little thing I have seen this week could have been is the laughter on the face of my youngest child as I was tickling him mischeviously.... the pure joy and bliss... and the tears too...

But then again, a part of me is saying why should I qualify this as the most beautiful little thing.... what about my bigger children? They too have smiled at me and at things we have done and brought me much joy and bliss... despite them being quite a little bigger than the little one.... why should I put anything above anything else...

I would be alot more insightful and wouldn't hurt people so much unintentionally. How many times have I looked at what I have done or said and thought: "why did I do this?"

Another part of me thinks at the same time that sometimes loved ones get hurt because of their own stuff... and I have seen a lot of this as well. How would an enlightened one deal with all this? Do enlightened one have needy families? Do enlightened ones have extra sensitive friends? Do they get instant karma? Do they have karma at all?

Would my house be more tidy because I wouldn't get so much junk through the door? Do enlightened ones have houses? Bills? Children? Nappies to change and bins to take out? Every book about enlightened ones that I read talk about none of this and it almost seems that these things would be taken care of by others for them... Someone prove me wrong.

I am wondering if it is being enlightened at all to "escape" from all this and rise above? Aren't we all enlightened when we see the light in us and everyone around us?

As you can see I really don't have a clue....

Detail.

I see things in big and have big dreams and visions but sometimes I miss things in my children's lives that are so obvious that I feel I am not being as good a Mum as others are. For example, I hardly ever remember to open their school bags to check if they have homework... or I forget important dates at schools even if I write them down on my calendar in the kitchen....

Or the other day I had prepared my daughter for a concert she was singing in and I didn't notice that her tie was dirty. My best friend who was visiting, did, thank God so we changed both her shirt and her tie...

And also I have brought them to birthday parties on the wrong day (usually the day before - not after)... or on the wrong day to the dentist... Oooops. And then we have a good laugh.

So perhaps being a little less with my head in the clouds.

On the positive, I am a good cook, and I talk openly to them, and share my feelings and am honest, open and respectful of them as the individuals that they are... and I listen to what they have to say and very rarely get angry....

One has to have weaknesses. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that my childen struggle with organisational skills. But then again, most of the time, I remember most things... Oh well, I do my best.

Everything I do "for work" feels like play, like joy... like a blessing.

When I do art, I rejoice. When I do healing I rejoice, when I do hypnotherapy I rejoice... when I spend time with my children (which is a life commitment that I consider work-play), I rejoice.

This does not mean that I do not take what I do seriously, it just means that for me I could not do this if I didn't not feel joyful doing it. Everyday, every client is a blessing and a joy.... well nearly. Some people sometimes decide not to get better and that can be challenging, but ultimately, it's their challenge, not mine. I move onto those who are ready for their work. It's not my work, I am just a facilitator.

I am blessed to do what I feel most strongely and most joyful about as work. In fact, I now know that I could not do the work that I do if it felt like work. It feels like a dance. It feels like an incredible opportunity to serve that makes me grow and learn and along the way... inspire other people.

Even when I was in my former role as a lawyer and then as a knowledge manager, I always enjoyed what I did as much as I could. I never had the Monday blues, although I had some very challenging moments.

Doing laundry, cleaning the house doesn't seem like work either when I take the time to do it and enjoy the result afterwards. I take that as a spiritual practice of being in the present moment. So housework is also transformed for me. And very often I listen to lectures or books on tapes whilst doing it... so it takes another dimension. But even when I don't, I keep still. I stick to the present moment (as a practice).

Don't get me wrong, I don't do all these things perfectly. I practice. And I let go and let God and although I work hard (meaning I don't count the hours I put into my work), I have learnt that it is by being in the flow that the magic happens. So I sit back and wait for inspiration (which means breath of spirit) so that I am shown what to do next.

Namaste

Seeing the potential in others....

Creating from little things....

Supporting others and loving them...

Soaking in other cultures....

Nurturing others....

Seeing the beauty in almost everythiing....

Counting my blessings....

Wanting another future for the next generation, including my children....

But in all this, I am not unique. Luckily for this planet, there are many others like me... and more to come.

 

Watching my children growing up into fine human beings.

My elder son has just turned 14. He has Asperger Syndrome and ADD... and when I was reading the paper yesterday about the recent advance in the understanding of Autism something in me shouted "I don't want you to fix my son". He is just beautiful inside out. He has a wisdom very few have and a unique point of view on humans and this planet that I couldn't do without. He is so strong in the knowledge of his own truth... he can't suffer fools gladly but also has a vision of children his age that is very refreshing although sometimes not very compassionate (that's the autism kicking in).

My daughter is about to turn 10 and although she has a tendency to feel sorry for herself sometimes, I marvel at her creativity, her imagination, her kindness... her open heart. As some of you know, she struggles to make friends in school because she has been labelled as "uncool" because she is not into make up and doesn't have three  mobile phones (in fact she doesn't even have one yet LOL). She reminds me of a painting of Boticelli and I rejoice in seeing her grow up.

My youngest son had turned 3 a month ago and I delight in his newly acquired command of speach. His little voice is the loudest in the house. He has five older brothers and sisters (my partner has three grown up children from his first marriage) so he finds it very difficult to be so small and considers there has been a terrible mistake and he has been unduly trapped in a little body but really he is thirty getting on three. He has just started French school to keep his French alive as it was vanishing fast... and although it's still a bit of a painful experience, I know he will soon feel perfectly at ease with his double roots.

I know it's not much, it's only my children but knowing that I have not transmitted my neurosis and my parents' total madness to them feels good. It took over a decade of psychotherapy and almost that much more of self development and I am not saying that I did a perfect job but it seems that I did an OK job.

I feel strongly about helping other parents be OK parents despite their disfunctional backgrounds... but also help children be themselves, their own authentic truth being accepted exactly as they are without feeling that they have to fit into a tiny square slot to have their own place in society....

Namaste