I don't want to sound vane but I believe this is probably my last incarnation unless after I leave the planet still needs more help. But since I am an optimist... I will take a bet that it won't.

By the time I leave this earth, a major shift will have happened. Love will be the highest regarded value on this planet. Psychic abilities the norm. Healing with crystals, light and thought will be widespread and peace will reign everywhere.

That's my dream. My vision. And if all of us haven't managed to quite get there... maybe we'll come back. And if we have reached that heaven on earth... why not coming back LOL

Guns. I just don't get it with guns. They spread fear and violence and lead to escalataion. I wouldn't want one if someone paid me... Even if all my neighbours had some. I would be too scared of my children pulling the trigger whilst playing and mourning them for the rest of my life.

Besides it is a well known fact that people are more likely to be injured or shot by their own guns rather than by other peoples'.

When I started my career as a young ambitious lawyer, there were jobs in the armament industry. I am glad I never applied to any of those jobs. I don't care what argument can be given for them, without them this planet would be a much much much better place.

And all other weapons too. Except for bubble guns.

That's all for today. Blessings

I no longer seek. I am.

When I was a child, my mother saw all sorts of horrible things in me: jealousy, greed, perversion, lies, seduction, you name it, I was it. All the things she hated in her mother and herself, she saw in me. And she hated her mother (although officially professed her love for her) and loathed herself (but again not officially - gosh the weight of the unconscious on your children!!!) I was so scared of what was inside me that I was too afraid to look. She even accused me of having an extra marital affair and a bastard child when I was in my early thirties (all things totally false). To this day, I am still shocked at her accusations.

When I was nine, I wanted to die. My mother took me to see a child psychologist that showed me that really it was ok to be me. I wasn't a monster. I was a normal little girl, dealing with her problems as best as she could. I went back to see her in my teens and then again in my mid-twenties to make sure that I would never impose my neurosis on my children.

Then I started on my spiritual path and the more I looked in me, the more I saw beautiful things. My heart was pure, my intentions were pure. I was very loving. Very patient. Very caring. By focusing on these aspects and on the light in me, I was able to pierce the shadow areas and throw some light on them.

It is only last week, when reading again a wonderful book by Diana Cooper on spiritual laws that I read about the law of projection, when suddenly it hit me that my mother had projected all her shadows onto me. She had made me her mirror. She had trapped me into her own reflection. What a horrible thing to do to a small child with a pure heart.

Part of my journey involved forgiving my mother for all that she had done. More as a gesture of mercy towards myself than her as I was carrying such a heavy weight. But I also sent her pure light and healing and I do love her - although better from a distance.

Now I have found peace. I know what is my true essence and I cleaned myself of the dirt that was thrown at me. I feel free. I feel beautiful. I feel pure and innocent again. I still have occasional relapses, but on the whole, I feel beautiful inside.

I hope all of you are able to see the beauty and the light in you. If not, may my story inspire you to do so.

Namaste

That the power of love is stronger than the power of hate.

That we can each make a difference individually in this world.

That efforts are always rewarded.

That honesty and integrity always pay.

That what matters is your intent, even if sometines you mess it up because you are human.

That it's never too late to apologise.

That friends are invaluable - provide you have the right ones.

That kindness is more valuable than cleverness.

That money doesn't matter but it helps to be able to pay the bills - so there is nothing wrong with it.

That each individual is on their spiritual path and it's ok to be at different stages. We are all going in the right direction at our own pace. No need to compete. No need to judge or compare marks.

That our birth parents often teach us more than we realise - even if it's on what not to do.

That brothers and sisters are like pebbles that rub on us to make us more beautiful and more polished.

That you are never alone.

That there is no need to worry - all is been taken care of provide we do our bit.

That God is infinite wisdom and love and that we will continue to come back on this planet until we learn to love others unconditionally like God does.

That women have it tough, most of the time.

That children are the most sacred creatures on this planet... including the children in our hearts because they are the closest to God. I can include animals too.

That this world is still extremely sexist, despite all the progress made by our female ancestors: vote, bank account, work, etc.

That it is important to have a vision and to hold it as big as we can of what we want to be and what we want to change in the world.

BE AS BIG AS YOU WANT AND ARE MEANT TO BE.

Today and several times every day. It comes thick and clear: the joy of being alive and of feeling connected and supported by the Universe. The joy of doing acts of service to God as a day job and feeling blessed to be of service and receiving so much back. It just never stops.

It also comes as a special type of energy around me that feels so vibrant. Of the touch of an angel's hand or wing on my cheek. And the deep knowledge that I make a difference, day after day and bring hope and inspiration to many.

It wasn't always like that. And it took me quite a bit of practice to come to this state of (almost) permanent bliss. I still have my dark hours. There are still moments of doubts that creep in... usually when there is a quiet month. But then I use that time for all my other projects or to spend more time with my children. And I try not to think about when the money will run out.

I now have the opportunity to rearrange my schedule when my children are unwell so they can have some special time with me. This is such a privilege and an honour. And of working from home... which means I can fit in little gaps the laundry, the ironing, a walk in the garden... a few lines to read. Being who I am I just usually work some more, read read read to try to get more information in...

I think my biggest hit is how happy I feel to be who I am and to do the things I do. Plus the happiness of having fulfiling meaningful close relationships with my partner, children and friends.

Then sometimes that happiness is boosted further because someone comes back to me and tells me how I have inspired their lives and it makes me think: it was all worth it after all: the questioning, the risk taking, the jumping out of a plane without a parachute, the leaving the beaten tracks... leaving behind the certainty of a paid job with a regular income and someone handing me money every month...

... on my road less travelled, with my HUGE dreams of changing the world.

So I say thank you thank you for whispering in my ears about my life purpose. And the angels say back: thank you thank you thank you for listening and for being you.

It doesn't get any better.

That I need to trust. Trust the Universe that I am going to be provided for. Trust the guidance that is given to me, even when it appears totally "illogical" and "impossible".

The reason is that miracles do happen. Our imagination is just too limited to embrace them in their full potential. We are like horses wearing blinkers, even if we saw a miracle, we wouldn't recognise it as such because we don't see the bigger picture.

I can see that very easily for others and I am enthusiastic enough to convince others of my vision. Up to now, I have been the one not walking the talk in this respect. So I am put to the test. I am not doing too bad. I trust more and more. I have more and more faith. And as my trust and faith grows, more miracles, more incredible happenings take place.

Trusting is a win-win situation.

Trusting that I am doing the right thing. Trusting that things happen for a reason. Trusting that things happen at the right time. Trusting that we will all achieve what we have come for on this planet. Trusting that all the books in my head will one day find their ways to readers that will be inspired by them.

Trusting that my vision of a better world will come true with the help of other dreamers.

In fact, I was recently told by a psychic karmic astrologer that I am not a dreamer but a visionary. This really helped me feel at ease with my visions as I was still not trusting them too much and sometimes discarding them as Dreams. I still stick with my spiritual name of Mosaic Dreamer... it inspires me to dream some more.

Trusting that I will have enough time to do all the things I want to do today, tomorrow and for the rest of my life.

Trusting that I am doing a good enough job with my children and keeping an open mind to improving the job that I do.

Trusting that there is a bigger plan that will become apparent when the time is right.

Blessings to all of you my friends

My first answer would be you feel happy alive and enthusiastic about what you are doing. You wake up each morning in great expectancy of the day ahead of you. But even when you are on the right path, there are days when you doubt. Then, these feelings don't come from the fact that you are on the wrong path but more from your own mind that doubts and creates problems.

Whether you are or not on the right path, there are always signs to point you in the right direction.

If you were not on the right path, watch out for accidents, illnesses, random events that seem to create obstacles and prevent things happening.

If you are on the righ path, everything seems to flow... but even then you can somtimes get obstacles because you have lessons to learn before you move on to the next stage.

So really I feel there is no simple answer. There is one indicator that would give you an instant feedback: how happy do you feel in your life? How healthy are you?

One that would look after women and children. Definitely. I feel Mums need a lot of nurture and guidance and support but also all other women... and children. Mums need help on how to parent the new generation of children too. Single mums and children need a lot of help - I was knee deep in it too. I know what it's like.  

And I feel somehow this has been my life path already. My calling. And somewhere along the line, I have been called an angel by many... does this make me one? I'd like to keep the mystery and not answer that question. After all, does it really matter. I certainly strive to be one, some day. Or at least act like one. Maybe when I leave my human skin...

I certainly try to act in accordance to my children's angels' guidance of unconditional love. I try. And I have been shown that intent, the purity of it, is what matters...

I never wish for a specific weather. I take it as it comes. I don't understand people who get depressed when it rains. They should follow the lead from children who put their boots on, grab their umbrellas and jump in puddles. Every weather is great weather.

Now that I have been that positive, I am going to be real: I need warmth at this point. I am dragging a stinking cold and a bit of sunshine would do me good. But even after saying this: I take the weather as it comes, just like I take emotions as they come. None of them are good or bad. Nature needs it all.

Namaste

Anges

As I was driving back home with my children after picking them from school and going for a quick shop at the supermarket, something stroke me: the realisation that I had to be open about why I am having such a hard time at the moment with a very very painful cold. And I hope you will bear with me for unburdening here but I feel that in a metaphoric manner, that's the only way I am going to get over this very painful cold.

It's a bit of a long story so bare with me. In November 2007, my father was diagnosed with a brain tumour. He had been experiencing mood swings, problems with memory and language difficulties for some time so it was almost a relief that the doctors had put a word or a condition against what he was experiencing. Although it was not cancerous, some of you might know that all brain tumours are potentially fatal or extremely life threatening due to the pressure they bring on the brain.

Anyway. to cut a long story short, from the time he was diagnosed in November until September 2008, I make a point of visiting him with the children - that means travelling across the channel to see him in Paris, on an extremely tight budget. This meant leaving my partner and sometimes my younger son behind because I couldn't afford the cost of tickets for all of us. We did make it all as a whole family twice though. I attuned him and my Mum to reiki I. I sent him loads of reiki on a daily basis, prayed and all the bits. I knew from the start that he wasn't a great believer in those things but did it anyway. And then back in September, this was taking too much of a toll on both my health and my couple so I decided to space out the visits.

In fact I still visited once in October despite a huge argument I had with my father last summer over a very painful subject that bounced back and affected my relationship with my brother who took sides.

And a couple of weeks back, he informed us that there was finally an improvement in his condition: his tumour had reduced by over thirty percent which was really unexpected. I sent him a message expressing my joy for him and mentioning the fact that maybe all those good vibes had had an effect after all. Sometimes I hand my parents the wip to hit me with... I am so naive and sometimes too open. I received an icy email from him reminding me that he was a medical doctor and that he gave all credit to the medical team that had treated him at the hospital.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't take credit for the work that I do because I consider it the glory of the Lord.  But here, there was something really nasty at stake: my father considered it necessary to humiliate me and make me feel that small. The story of a life time really.

As a good aspiring buddhist, and because I was reading the book called Anger by Thich Nhat Hanh (one of my heroes), I didn't reply. I held back and managed my anger. I cried all day that day and felt really rejected. Old records playing. And guess what, two days later I caught the nastiest cold I have had in years. It is so painful that it wakes me up at night. I feel chocked. It is only this afternoon in the car that I realised I had hurt myself with my anger.

See I seem to have mastered the art of not imposing my anger on others.... but still not managed to avoid hurting me in the process. Any tips to improve how I handle things in the future? This is a lesson that I have not yet mastered so I am turning to my spiritual community for help.

Any word of comfort, advice or even a bit of healing energy my way would be greatly appreciated.

Blessings and love

Anges

Keep the love flowing despite everything